His Revenge Was Different Than I Expected

Another attempt at BeKindRewrite’s Inspiration Monday. I’m quickly getting addicted.


His revenge was different than I expected.

Most guys would assemble his buddies. Find you in a bar alone. Watch you. Follow you outside. They’d trash you then trash your car, and you’d forgive it, because you felt it was justified. You break the code, you get what’s coming to you. You could go home, relieved. It would be over. You could move on.

Not this time. He’s still my best friend, as if nothing happened. As if I didn’t do what I did.

His hand pauses midair. A high-five on the cusp, daring me to refuse. I meet it. I’m too afraid not to.

“You in for tonight?”

“Course.” I just want to lay low, not provoke any questions. I go over the confrontation in my head for the hundredth time. Did I dream it? Did I hallucinate? Does he have amnesia?

“What’s so fuckin’ funny?”

My fists ball. I stiffen out of reflex. But someone shoves him instead, and I see it’s a game. Just someone passing by, giving him shit about something else. They don’t know. If they did, they’d be all over it. I pick up my gym bag before I do something stupid.

“How ’bout if I give you a hand with that oil pan beforehand?”

I shrug. It’s the last thing I want.

But he’s going to carry on. He’s going to be my best friend, rubbing my face in my own excrement until we both die.

14 thoughts on “His Revenge Was Different Than I Expected

    • Cool. I will check it out. Maybe he’ll inspire me to write something not so dark for once! Nothing against BeKindRewrite’s prompts. It’s all me, I’m sure…

  1. My imagination has gone a few places and keeps coming back to ‘hmmm, is that it?’

    The first time I read this, I thought it was a male/female best friend situation. I read it again and wasn’t so sure.

    This was great….suspenseful and what a powerful ending!

    • You thought the narrator was female? That is very interesting… what made you think that? Now you’ve got me thinking because that would be an awesome twist.

      Thank you for such great feedback! It makes me want to continue…

  2. Pingback: Inspiration Monday…uh…IX « BeKindRewrite

  3. The first time I read it, I pictured the narrator as female; though “trash you, then your car” and the oil pan didn’t jive with that very well. Upon reading it the second time, it made more sense when I put a male as the narrator. I suppose everyone sees things differently.

    • You are the second person to think the narrator was female. I’m thinking it might be the use of “Most guys would…” as in, differentiating from girls. If this was a real manuscript, I’d probably have to rework that, maybe make it “Most other guys would…” or even just “Other guys would…”

      Thanks so much for commenting. This is definitely interesting. And helpful. Word choice is so important, and there can be such connotation to even the simplest words! Language and writing are a science.

  4. Pingback: Inspiration Monday…uh…IX | bekindrewrite

Comments are closed.