Category Archives: LOL

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Remember: The Internet Is The Entire World

Some people don’t realize when you chose to fight the internet, you are choosing to fight The Entire World. You know that’s a bad idea. So do I. It takes a special person with a special kind of ego to say, “Heck yes, lemme at ‘em! Come get some of this, Entire World!”

Lucky for us, once in a while our human race produces one of these special people. And it makes for some very good entertainment. Especially when they refuse to accept defeat. Kind of like Rocky. Only pathetic.

The outcome?
One lawyer ruins his reputation (and his wife isn’t helping)
One web comic becomes famous
Two charities get a lot of money
Two more charities get some money

How is this related to writing? Because this lawyer’s actions threaten all writers/bloggers/web comics/artists, and they need to be squashed. And they were. Go, internet.

(Not to mention it’s a total abuse of the legal system.)

There are too many sites to link to, so I’m just going to include the best one. To get the background on all of this, google “The Oatmeal vs. FunnyJunk”, Charles Carreon, Matt Inman, or “BearLove Good. Cancer Bad.”

What Happens When Someone Loses Against the Internet

(And if you literally want to improve your punctuation, spelling, and word usage, there are some useful charts on The Oatmeal; comedy is included.)

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Taking Comfort in the Failure of Others

To any writer who’s in the process of querying, you might find comfort and good company at the site below. There’s also a voyeuristic quality that–admit it–we all love.

Meanwhile, my query machine chugs away. Maybe I should trade it in for a new one with push-button start and other upgrades, like, faster returning rejections that are better aimed for my face. It’s just so anticlimactic when they miss.

The thing is, they miss a lot. Because when your fingers are bruised nubs from years of revising, when your beta readers say nothing but “Can I read the next book? Now?”, when you know deep in your subconscious that your manuscript is polished to a shine and finally ready for the next step toward publishing, those rejections aren’t so bad. Each “not right for me” is another mile-marker blurring past your query machine headed for Destination YES.

Wait. Did I say blurring? I meant crawling.

Check it out: Literary Rejections on Display

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Search Engine Terms: It Takes So Little To Amuse Me

I’m working on the next piece of The Sweaty Hand (Set Up, Second Person, Firebrand), but it’s not ready to come out yet, and I don’t like to be forceful. (Can anybody think of a better name for the series? Haha..)

In the meantime, check out some of my most interesting search engine terms as gathered by WordPress. These are the things people typed into Google (or any other search engine). My blog was returned in the results, and the people clicked on it. And I couldn’t help adding my own comments…

WordPress people: Have you looked at your search terms recently? Anything good?

you are the fine art of subtlety
(Why, no one’s ever called me that before. *blushes*)

what do you daydream about
(I asked you first.)

sample query letter + vacation of post
(Query letter + vacation = not a vacation)

sexy site:kaycamden.com
(Don’t I know it.)

kai alarm clock
(I think you want this.)

how to be byronic
(Lots of brooding. It takes practice.)

bad writing
(Oh come on. I’m improving. You have to admit that.)

more ass
(Is that all I am to you?)

camden – anti r hero
(I’m dying to know what the “r” stands for. Reality? Radar? Reflective? Revolutionary?)

intext:”outlet says”+”may,”+”leave a reply”-”you must” t
(Could you be more specific?)

query letter impossible
(Exactly. That’s why you shouldn’t take it on vacation.)

what is detail of matter
(As in protons and neutrons? I think you took a wrong turn.)

tighter than her skirt
(Come on now, this isn’t a contest.)

make a mask with my head
(Buffalo Bill, is that you?)

mindstorm exthaus
(Gesundheit.)

how to make your own car masks
(I think your car might prefer a bra.)

kick ass camden
(Only during the week. On weekends I relax.)

you should not forget me
(Oh, I could not begin to. For your lips have disgraced me, my lord.)

he is on his knees and he kiss my heels
(Is he a contortionist?)

emotions of the grand canyon
(Vast and deep, I’m sure.)

how to make a mask that opens in the back
(Steal a hospital robe and make a few modifications. Voilà!)

is you an anti hero
(I is not. There is a chance I might be an anti r hero though. Stay tuned.)

sinopsis can’t open up my lips
(I knew I should have locked up that cherry-flavored super glue.)

grabs her ankle movie scene
(It would help to know whose ankle is being grabbed or who is doing the grabbing.)

grab her ankle horror movies
(Is that a subcategory of horror movies?)

sexytime in camden
(Every night, baby.)

camden asses
(Oh come on now, I only have one.)

how to make a mask out of a shirt
(Ask any three-year-old.)

grab her ankle horror movie
(You again? Now you’ve made me curious. I must be missing out on something big here.)

get out your still here
(I was here first.)

reading day and night self published book
(I feel your pain.)

look alien
(You’re missing a comma. And I was born on this planet, thank you.)